Sitting here alone in this dark room, sinking deep in my thoughts and feelings as calming music fills my ears isolating me from the outer world.. I prefer it this way..
Just like now, sometimes I feel like cutting off from this
chaotic world, drowning in my own peaceful one.. Being alone, yet not feeling
lonely, segregated from the outer world, shutting myself inside my own thoughts
and feelings, helps me relax and loosen up..
Even though sometimes I have nothing to write about, just
like now I have nothing specific in my mind to write about but I just love
writing so much, I could go on and on writing for hours without getting tired,
its my way of expressing myself, express the hidden things deep inside..
Right now, the feeling of wanting to drift into my la la
land peacefully without any interruptions or distractions Is overwhelming me, it
feels good having your own ME-time and stay in your world , where everything
goes the way you want it to, where you can do whatever you feel like doing,
where there’re no restrictions or rules to chain you, where you’re free as a
bird, floating freely in the high, vast sky, where you can be yourself without
having to worry about your appearance or behavior, where no one will judge you,
monitor you or know your past and remind you of anything you don’t want to
remember..
If only there was a place like this in real world, I would
have loved to stay there forever, but I guess its all imaginary, since real
world is not as lovely and sweet as it appears to be..
The chaotic real world, where you must be able to
differentiate between the good and bad, it isn’t as easy as it sounds,
sometimes sweet talks, sugar-coated words and smiles are all fake, one must be
able to see behind those masks, to understand the meanings behind the sugary
talks, to be aware of the intentions behind sweet actions and to sense the aims
and targets behind each and every tone..
And the same is with the bad, sometimes harsh words, cruel
actions, ignorant and nasty attitude, unsympathetic and insensitive behavior
have deeper meanings than the sweet talks and fake smiles, and have strong effect
on humans, not every harsh word is meant to hurt, not every cold look is meant
to be taken as an ignorant action, not every slap and mean gesture is meant to
be taken as offense and hatred..
Every action, every word, each tone of voice, every face
expression and every attitude and behavior of each and every person tells
something, the same action never holds the same meaning with all people, each
and every single thing defines a person and his/her intention according to
their past, to their relationship with us and their personality, one should be
able to dig in deeper to understand those hidden meanings behind everything…
That’s just one thing about the real world, millions of
other things are lingering in the outer space, waiting to be understood and
analyzed, but who has time for that nowadays?!
It really is a chaotic world after all…..
